Declan here. The world is so exciting! Have you seen that light bulb? I am pointing at it! Look! Take me there. Oooooh. Light! Take me to the light switch. Watch me flip the switch. Dark. Light. Amazing!

Ok, now I’m over it. Put me down. I want to look at that book. I can turn the pages. Are you watching? Where’s the funny page? The one where you make the eeeeeooooo sound? I can make that sound, too. See? Where is that book? I’m going to go find it.

Do you see this? I just crawled around the corner. Are you going to follow me?! Who knows what trouble I could find.

Yayyyyyyy! You are following me. I am going to crawl to the dog’s water bowl and this time I am going to stick my hand in there. This is so fun!

Wait, why did you pick up the bowl? I wanted to lick that. Oh well. I’m over it. See what I’m pointing at now? It’s the thing that starts with M! I love that thing! Take me there. I want to open the door and pay my hourly respects to the genius of super-fast cooking. Do you see this?! This is the most amazing thing ever.

I just peed.

Oh, look! The kitchen light! Let me touch it! The fridge! Whoa. What is this? A magnet? I’m going to put it in my mouth without thinking.

Put me down! I need to open some cabinets. Wait, why doesn’t this one open? Did you put the stupid, no fun lock on it? That’s ok. I’ll go to the other one.

I found some heavy objects. Let me try to pull them over on myself! Won’t that be fun?! Why are you picking me up? Where are we going? Do you see me? I’m making a fist. When I make a fist I get Mama. Where is Mama anyway?

Ooooh, milk! I want that! Give me that now. Why are you so slow? Put me down. I want to hold it myself. Mmmmm. Milk. Watch what happens when I shake it. The milk goes all over the place! Isn’t that funny? Ok, I’m done with this bottle. I want to move!

Where’s croc car? Make it go. There it goes! Are you going to chase it with me? Yay!!! I’m going to get it. Croc car!

Wait, what’s that? Something on the floor. I’m going to pick it up and put it in my mouth without thinking. Tastes funny. Why are you putting your fingers down my throat? I don’t like that. I bite!

Where are we going now? I want to play with the fan! What about the fan? Put me down!

My room! Oh, boy! Books! Lights! Toys! Wait, not there! Not there! I don’t want my diaper changed.

Ooh, look! A plastic submarine! Sing the song about the submarine! Ha ha, that’s funny, Ok, I’m bored. I’m going to flip over now. Aaaahh! Why did you turn me back over? I don’t want to be on my back! Ooh, look! A submarine! Sing the song!

I’m going to stand up now. I’m sure the diaper wipe box will support my entire weight. Aaaaah!!!!! What the hell? Dada, that hurt!

What are you doing now? No, I don’t want clothes! I’m going to squirm around as much as physically possible to prevent this unwanted aggression.

Hold on, why am I mad?

What’s that you say? Am I stepping on sensitive areas of your anatomy? Sorry. Gotta get to those books on the bed. Ooh, I wonder what’s over the edge. I’m going to go there. Ohboyohboyohboy! Wait, why did you pick me up again? I was just going to crash head first off the side of the bed. No big deal.

Listen to the sounds I can make! I’m giving you gold right now. Why are you looking at your phone? Here, give me that. I’m going to put it my mouth. That’ll teach you. Does this one play the videos? Play the ones of me! Yay! I am funny. Let me eat that phone again.

Ok, time to go again. Look how fast I can crawl!