Trying to put Declan down for his afternoon nap. Here is what transpired:

12:55: Colleen finishes feeding Declan.
12:57: Colleen swaddles and rocks him. I glance at the Duke game on TV.
1:00: Declan is placed in the crib asleep. We leave the room.
1:01: Colleen and I plan household tasks.
1:03: Declan starts crying. I go into the room. One of his arms is out of the swaddle.
1:04: I pick up the baby. He smiles at me. I smile back. Rocking, patting, and shushing ensue.
1:05: His eyes close and his breathing slows. I put Deck in the crib and leave the room.
1:07: Crying. Eyes open. Arm out of swaddle. Legs flailing.
1:08: I stuff his arm back in the swaddle and pat his tummy. He cries.
1:10: I pick up Deck and pat his back.
1:11: He falls asleep. I lay him down in the crib, open the door, and check the score of the game.
1:12: He cries and starts kicking his legs. I shut the door, pick up the baby, pat his back, and put him back down.
1:13: I tell Colleen to go on without me, that I will just be staying in the room to train the child.
1:14: Crying resumes. I pick up Deck, put him on the bed, and redo the swaddle.
1:16: The baby is back in my arms. He smiles. I avoid eye contact. More back patting.
1:17: His eyes close, his breathing slows. Back in the crib he goes. He squirms around. Crying resumes.
1:18: I pat and shush. More crying.
1:19: I pick Declan up.
1:20: His eyes close. I put him back in the crib. He squirms around and goes back to sleep.
1:50: He stirs.
1:53: Eyes open. I pick him up and rock him, thinking maybe he’ll go back down. He cries and kicks. An arm comes out of the swaddle.
1:54: I put him on the bed and start to reswaddle him. He pees through his pants and onto the bed. I put him on him in the crib and take off his clothes. He pees on his stomach and face.
1:55: I pull out a new diaper. He pees on the diaper, his crib, and his face again.
1:56: Nap time over. As is the Duke game 😦

So in case you’re scoring at home, that’s roughly 30 minutes of work by Mom and Dad for roughly 30 minutes of baby sleep, and some crazy pee to boot. By the way, he is still yawning. As Colleen said this afternoon: “Baby, why do you have to act tired all day and resist all efforts to put you down?” When is it our nap time?